Most of my friends nowadays are either newly married, engaged or of marriageable age. This being the case means that our conversations are mostly about marriage or deciding who to marry.
I have been noticing something in my opinion is wrong. Most of the ladies...and the men too, choose their marriage partner sorely based on feelings they have towards that person. They completely ignore logic, their values and the character of the person.
It is said love is blind, but thank God for my mum who always told me that love opens its eyes wide.
Dear girls, marriage is a contract, and a life binding one for that matter. It is of vital importance that we approach it with a clear and alert head. Ignore those warm fuzzy feelings for a moment and sober up. Think about when you are about to enter into a major contract/commitment like buying a piece of land, buying a car, buying a business, quitting a job. Think about the effort we put into to find out.
Some time back we were considering on a piece of land. We went for searches to verify if the land is clean and genuine, we visited the land severally, we had a surveyor verify the land measurements, we considered the seller if he was genuine, we checked our finances to make sure we are able, we prayed and prayed about it. I mean, we really did our best to ensure the land was a good deal. At the end, we decided not to acquire the land. Now imagine, marriage is a more serious contract than this.
This is how most of us women decide on a marriage partner. "Oh my I saw this guy, he is sooo hot". Hot guy asks girl out, they date for some time. Girl is totally into the guy, when he passes she cant even breath, and if she does not see him in a day, she believes she will die. He buys her flowers, he takes her out, he is really a dream come true. However, she has this gut feeling that this guy is not right for her. I mean, their communication is not that good, she does not have peace because she keeps suspecting the guy. However, when hot guy asks girl to marry him, she ignores all this and says yes. Fast forward to the marriage, girl is still suspicious, its driving her crazy. Her love starts to wither. Its made worse by the fact that they don't have a good communication base. Neither guy or girl is bad, but they are not for each other.
Dear girls, we need to do our due diligence before committing ourselves to a marriage partner. And by this, i don't mean that long list you have been keeping in your drawer for years. Once your married, so soon realize that most things we look for don't matter. For me, these are the most important things:
-Is the man born again? Is the man committed to Jesus? Does he have the fear of the Lord? This will save you tons of problems because he is afraid to sin and when he sins, he is quick to ask for forgiveness.
-Is the man hard working? Remember men are commanded by God to be providers. He needs not be rich, but he has to be hardworking.
-Check his background, how is the family? How do they treat each other? Do you like their practices? Can you tolerate them? Remember they are going to be your family.
-Can you live with his weaknesses. The ones you have already noticed. Please ignore minor weaknesses. Everyone has them. Love covers a multitude of sin.
-Is he ready to marry? I am not a supporter of long term dating. Why would people date for 5 years and have not yet decided to marry. By 1 year (I personally think 6 months is enough), a couple should have decided to marry or to call it quits. Sweet gal, don't be Lord of the rings...engaged for over 2 years with no marriage to show. Move on fast.
If he meets this, then lady, marry the guy asap. If he does not. Move on and move on fast. God is faithful. His word says no one will lack her mate. Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together. Isaiah 34:16
...not one will lack her mate. Isaiah 34:16
